Can I stroke your chicken?

"This is the first human-poultry interaction system ever developed," said professor Adrian David Cheok, the leader of the team, who has been developing the technology for nearly two years.

http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,67513,00.html

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This is how you keep that lean, girlish figure

ME: That's a healty dinner

MORGAN: Yeah, I needed a snack before I go to the gym.

ME: (looking puzzled) So you're eating ding-dongs, cheetos, and Mountian Dew before you head to the gym?

MORGAN: Um... yeah, I guess that sounds a little silly when you put it that way.

I probably paraphrased that, but hey, this site is mostly lies anyhow.

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Separated at birth?

And yes, I'm working on getting our wedding photos online... Just got to fix my Gallery installation.

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Helpful tips for the aspiring urban cowboy

Got you a hankering to bust a bronc, rope a calf, ride a bull or wrangle an armadilla? Well fuck yes you have! Here's my short list of tips for the (mechanical) bull-riding neophyte:

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"Taiwanese feelings of inadequacy", or, "Would you look at the dick on that thing!"

I spotted this story about a whale explosion in Taiwan. Gory pictures. Good stuff. Not really that funny. Until I got to the following quote:

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"Clash of the titans," or, "I ain't descended from no monkey"

Saturday night the greatest minds of the Coastal Empire met in the Lucas Theater for an intellectual debate of epic proportions. Creationists vs. Scientists. On the right (side of the the table, not the issue), a liberal Dream Team. The best of the best of Savannah area second-rate colleges. To give them credit, they all had doctorates of some form... a physiologist, a lawyer and.... some other Armstrong Atlantic Ph.D. Ok, we're not exactly reenacting the Manhattan Project here.

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Please, don't let them hurt the children

Am I the only person that hasn't heard the creepy-ass 80's song "Dear Mr. Jesus" before? Betsy seems to think I am. I've got to thank her new XM Radio for giving me the opportunity to hear a child singing such touching lines as "please don't tell my daddy, but my mommy hits me too" or "Dear Mr. Jesus, they say that she may die...

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No asshole, I don't want to 'race' you

I don't know my choice of transportation encourages every mullet with a camaro or backwards-hat-wearing fart-can Honda driving tool to pretend to be Mario Andretti or "Big Daddy" Don Garlits.

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Probably won't see this during the Super Bowl halftime

Well, I'm guessing this commercial isn't going to make it on the airwaves here in the good ole U. S. of A. A shame, that. Fucking politcally correct pussies. Click, and enjoy.

(yes, I know it's fake)

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My great invention

You've been there - the quiet restaurant, where you and your'n are enjoying a peaceful, relaxing breakfast, having a nice conversation over your omelettes and pancakes. Then steadily a low roar builds, and the building fills with the stink of Ben-Gay and Preparation H. Soon enough, you're yelling to your dining companion just to be heard over the cackles and coughs of the baker's dozen of oldsters that are milling about the tiny, low-ceilinged restaurant.

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